My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
try to milk me bitch
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
