Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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