can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
