So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
