Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
