I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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