If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
