I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
