so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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