After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
should my penis look like a turkey
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
