3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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