guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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