Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
