I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
