Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
