So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
