The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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