I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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