Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
