I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
