Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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