she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
