There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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