tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
is it fun? or sober?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
