I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
