doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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