Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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