OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My feet surprised me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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