Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
