Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
