I got her a Nickelback box set.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
