Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
