ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
