He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This baby is an asshole
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
