May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
