you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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