Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
