Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize