Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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