i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
