where am i from again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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