omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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