Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize