im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
