playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
