Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
