so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
a search helicopter?!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
