Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
