I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
