i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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