Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
