it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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