I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize