i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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