I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dicks are not precious.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
