Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
