you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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