I must be too annoying 4 u.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
