If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
