I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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