Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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