uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
