I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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